I love you girl for this thank you for understanding us(Aquarius) . By the way I am madly in love with my Pisces guy and He loves me even More.

Oh love and emotions, please stop making a fool of me….because there really is nothing left to hold on to.

The distance is echoing… 18.4065089,-77.11073277777777

Anyway I got pregnant by him. I had been on birth control but had been on medication which Interfered with this which the doctor did not tell me) when I found out It was the most horrendous day of my life I didn’t tell him right away because I wasn’t sure how to tell him and thought for ages about how to. He FREAKED when I told him. I thought fine he needs to get his head together didn’t hear from him for a MONTH. I gave him his space but It put me through the ringer, I was so scared I didn’t know how I stood with him.

We met up In a cafe and he said I was pinning him down and keeping stuff from him I wasn’t I only told him because my conscious wouldn’t allow me to hide It and I had worried for ages how to tell him. This got me really upset I ran away from him at the cafe HE WAS NOT GOING TO SEE ME CRY. He text saying well talk when you are not blubbering. I sent a very nasty text a few days later to which he responded with he will support me but only for the child’s sake but would never want to work things out. I was furious at this. There Is only so much In a relationship someone can compromise he wasn’t prepared to work things out with me saw It as a hassle, wanted me to do everything on his terms. It was horrible enough was enough there was only so much that can be on one persons terms, he was not the only one who was feeling tied down and scared I happily gave him his space but he did not consider the ringer he was putting me through.

Eventually I wrote him a letter explaining all the above to him and how just sticking around for the sake of a child would be a knife In my heart. A child decides to be born with two parents loving It not one sticking around to say look you managed to tie me down bitch Im doing my sense of duty.

So I told him please think about and call me I cannot wait around for ever for you to think things through I want to get on with my life. Anyway Im so ashamed but I had an abortion I told him eventually enough was enough I have me to think about I will wait but not forever. I called him the morning of It and he was shocked told me I had cut him out of my life. I truly didn’t want to but it was the only way for me to move forward.

He showed up drunk at the clinic when I was just about to have It and got taken away by the police. I have never heard from him until one night when I ran Into him when I was having lunch with my friends and It was like my heart had been stabbed It brought back all my sorrow and regret.

You find that you meet someone, you realize that that there is a intense connection/attraction, you find that you become so scared and flustered that you sometimes often times than not push people away from you unintentionally or not, and then when you realize its sometimes too late and then there comes a time when the universe intercepts that before it reaches a Stage 5 Condition and then that force to push inexplicably becomes this huge pull factor so strong, its alarming.

And so when the universe analyzes all these occurrences and knows you really want to open up but you’re not sure how or where to begin because you fear been rejected or fear been mortified, and fear the fears of all fears, it creates this medium, a medium that allows you to be yourself without the feeling of been judged, without been ridiculed, without been subjected to apprehension and you feel at peace each time you let a little bit of you die by letting out bits by bits and then you begin the rebirth each layer at a time.

By this time the universe formulates this idea containing various conceptual elements to include both the positives and the negatives and made sure ALL were laid out – and certainly it was, because sooner or later it was bound to be brought to fruition for the one to whom it may concern and offcourse it found the concerned and place her right there infront of it all to grasp….and without a doubt the universe knew this was what would make this bond stronger, to cement this connection firmly in place withstanding all negative forces come what may.

And both knows neither wants to let go, but doesn’t want to force merger either and so just as both feels like its the end of a brief encounter, the universe is prompted once again and so it begin its course this time bringing the other party to come to the know of what the other has been struggling with that has caused things to feel like it was at a stand still but little did either know what God’s plan was. And so every single detail becomes open, as though someone intentionally made sure that door stayed open – though to him he probably never even realized he had that door open so wide not just for anyone to walk in though but for the one who was suppose to, who kept searching for him days on end ( yes I would be online all the time as though I was really looking for something that I really wasn’t sure what I was looking for or why I kept looking and then when I found it, the search was over, literally) and couldn’t figure out just where he had wandered to, then walking towards a title-less book which would infact peaked an interest in wanting to know whats inside, then reading and understanding each chapter moment at a time.

And you then feel as though under no natural circumstances would you have even gotten so up close and personal to someone’s soul without even been in their physical presence ( though I am under the strong believe that maybe it would never have gotten past hello, or past small talks, if it wasn’t for the universe precise calculations)…..and that’s something I do not take very lightly….its a big deal for me!
This is like living with someone without actually been there, feels like you know them in and out, feels like you know they’ll be the best person they can, but never in a million years would you ever have imagined getting to know exactly so much without vagueness…. that says ALOT without him saying much of anything in the flesh, but the universe has made sure that everything was said that needed to be said at the time it saw fit and that everything would be heard that needed to be heard only when the time was right and so be it….and everyday I’m still learning so much more about who this person really is, their out of the blue mood swings and it doesn’t matter because you understand where those are coming from and wants them to know it will all be OK….seriously it will be!

If nothing else, I am extremely delighted the way this is all unfolding and coming together and especially the time it has taken and thank you so much for never ever rushing it prematurely….priceless!!

Hear me now, there is someone who LOVES YOU that will never ever leave, who will be there ALWAYS because they want to be, unconditionally and because you are worth loving in every sense of the word,…..but promise that you will be there forever and know with that you will get all of me, all my love, all my everything – only and only if you promise me you will never let go or leave but will be here until the end of time, because I promise I will never leave your side and its okay because I trust that you will without a doubt be the best man that you can be…. I’m trusting my heart in your hands and hope you will do the same. All the love you need is right here – believe that…..promise!!

I know you do and you know I do too…here to stay (L)